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It has been a looong time since I've updated here. This is where I need to share things. FB is great, but sometimes I just need to get away from it. I do spend a decent amount of time on there. Lately I've been very lonely. I cannot drive anymore... I would like to get out of the house, but it is tough now because I have more social anxiety. What will people think of who I am now? Why do I care about that? Because I am a compassionate person and I want people's approval. I've recently had the revelation that I AM worthy of people's respect, but most of the time I do not respect myself. I cannot be perfect. Especially academically. I've spent most of my life trying to be perfect in everything. My parents didn't push me into sports or whatnot yet I still feel as if I'm a failure for not being further along with my life as far as a career, for example. I'd like to like myself and where I am currently, but it is getting difficult to respect myself. I have ALWAYS beaten myself up. I'm looking forward to some professional help with all my psychological and psychological issues, but part of me doubts I can change. I am willing to try, though.