Patience

Here's more about patience. My pastor yesterday talked about how anything God does can take time. I keep writing about it, but I inevitably forget it. I need to focus on how God is good, and He has my best in mind. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own agenda that I feel like God is dragging me through the mud instead of showing me something that is going to make me grow.

In my computer class we've been learning about PIG. Personal Instant Gratification. My pastor yesterday says we're the Instant Gratification Generation, talking about how microwaves at the time of their invention were not for warming up food. It was only later that they found that micro waves were good for this purpose. Warming up coffee - 10 seconds, come on, already! 40 seconds! - half a day!

At the same time I've also been learning about discipline. You'll never come across a lazy successful businessman.

I know these thoughts are sort of all over the place, but I hope you get the gist.

Singleness

My singleness has been bothering me for a while now. I know I'm still young, and God has someone for me, but sometimes I just plain want a guy to talk to, to hug. All my guy friends are approachable, but I just feel like it's not right, somehow, me talking to them about things.

I felt super lonely today. The sermon was on depression, and last week's was on anxiety. (I go to a Bible study on Fridays.)

During worship I was able to get back to God and what He's about. I know He doesn't want me to be all mopey because I don't have a guy that I can talk to. I know He wants me to talk to Him. I have been, I just feel like I'm completely missing something (read: someone) in plain sight.

God will point him out to me, I know. It's extremely painful to wait.

Alienated. That's how I feel I'm being treated by guys. By guys I don't mean guys that are friends, I mean guys that could become more than friends....I know I'm trying too hard.

I should be trying to be the person that is going to attract people, by being godly. I guess I just don't know where to start. That's what gets me down.

Promise

This week, it's basically been the same as the last post. I focus so hard on what I want in life, which is what I think God wants, but it's really not.
God has promised me things. I just don't trust Him; I get sidetracked. I know I want to trust Him, but something happens where I forget about His promises. Promises about how He'll keep me safe, and especially that He'll provide for me.

I don't know where I go wrong about that, but I need to stop.

Jesus is the Great Physician, but God is also a Provider.